Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
