I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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