i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
