It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
