dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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