Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
