My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
