His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize