It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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