Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
