69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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