Define "chronic" masturbator.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
