The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
