did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
