Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
