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You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
