apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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