I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
