Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
