O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
