I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Randomize