I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
