he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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