you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
