If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
should my penis look like a turkey
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I will be naked everywhere
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
