i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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