Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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