Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
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Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
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Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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