Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
