Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
