walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
