Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Your cock deserves a montage
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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