I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Two words: blizzard sex
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
