First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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