uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I wear drunk well.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
