that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Randomize
