im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
