my mouth tastes like poor choices
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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