I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
