The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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