if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm way too hungover for life right now
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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