I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
