just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
