I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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