I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I wish I only lived at night.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize