My friends, they love my intelligence
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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