Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
