I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
