i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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