Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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