Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
