she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You smell like stripper and shame
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
