she was so not down for the gang bang
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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