You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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