We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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