What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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