I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
