i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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