You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
